question of the week: is home where the heart is?

 

since 2007 I’ve lived in 5 different states..
I was in cincinnati from 2007-2010, mosied on over to detroit from 2010-2011, went back to ohio (toledo) for a few months in 2011, headed south to tennessee (nashville area) for a few months in 2012, moved BACK to ohio for a few more months, then finally settled in chicago around mid 2012.
ok, that wasn’t final, cause a year later I moved to the DMV. so now… in 2013, I’m in my 5th state….gaaaah damn
and during this time 2007-2013, I’ve moved about 11 times. this includes moving to different apartments in the same city.
whenever I moved to a different state, I literally sold everything and packed up my car and just rolled. in some instances I wouldn’t even furnish my whole place cause I knew I wouldn’t be there long
during this time, I’ve had one very serious relationship, which ended in 2009. I had a somewhat serious interaction in 2012, but that was a joke.
so then it got me thinking…is there a correlation between my moving and my relationship history?
am I running from something? why do I move so damn much? am I afraid to commit? is it showing in my rental history, lol. but for real
since I’ve signed my own leases, the longest I’ve ever been in any one apartment was 18 months. the shortest was 2 months. If I moved somewhere and ended up not liking it, I wouldn’t wait for the lease to end, I’d sublease and bounce.
whenever I get in a relationship that seems to be getting just a little bit too real for me…I kinda high tail it outta there. I’m not afraid of being hurt. that comes with dealing with people. I do have a guard up but I’ve learned how to let it down when necessary.
and actually I’ve gotten better at “sticking it out” with people. my biggest fear is wasting time. I can’t ever get that back. ever. so if I see something isn’t going the way I want or if I feel like I’m losing control of the situation, or if I genuinely feel like I’m wasting my time…I bounce
apartment, job, men, friends, Im out
right now… I’m actually scoping out areas around the DMV to find my new neighborhood. my goal is to stay put for 2 years, preferably in the same unit. I said if I can stay out here for at least 5 years (which is what Im expecting), I’ll take myself seriously. right now…Im out here still living the life of a college student. I dont have a home, so I don’t necessarily feel fulfilled. right now…I just live somewhere, then on top of that.. I have a roommate. so I trap myself in my bedroom…it’s just  what I do. trying to snap out of that.
so anywho…have you been a busy body? moving very frequently? what about being military or family of someone in the military?
or is this just something I need to discuss with a therapist? ah well…

 

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4 thoughts on “question of the week: is home where the heart is?

  1. That’s what I’ve been telling myself, but every so often I sit and think about life in general. I’m pushing thirty (almost, lol) and there’s some things I want to do but I feel like I’m rushing thru life right now and I don’t like it. Got some changes coming soon. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

  2. I think you’re still young, so its important to just live for the day and love life. Cherish this time and when its the right time, your spirit will let you know its time to settle down and slow down.

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